What do you do to limit your own happiness?

[CatherineR]

#2503

Hi all,

For me – I think my top thing is that I have the tendencey to worry far too, about the silliest things, and it makes me incredibly indecisive. [See – I even wrote “I think” – that’s an indecisive statement in itself!]

… Have I explained myself well enough in the email? Will that person be happy with my decision? What sandwhich should I have? Chicken salad? But what if what I really want is the super duper delux ciabatta? But actually, maybe I just fancy something plain – like cheese – and I’m making my choice to complicated just becauase I can?…

And these worries and indecisions seriously slow me down and get my heart rate pumping in a negative way for all the wrong reasons. (This has just reminded me – I definitely have a blog to write about all of this!)

I am now learning to go with my immediate instincts and just STOP worrying (about things that in the grandscheme really don’t matter), STOP being indecisive. But obviously this requires practice.

What have you found you do to limit your happiness and how do you plan to overcome this? (And does anyone have any tricks on how to beat the Indecisive Monster?) xx

[TimF]

#2525

Linking into the self-compassion thing… I know that sometimes I make myself unhappy by being really harsh on myself. How can you have done that? Why did you make that mistake? Why didn’t you do the Happynesshub meditation yesterday? etc. So I’m resolving to be a bit more constructive in the way I treat myself.

[CatherineR]

#2534

Being harsh on yourself is the worst. It’s so easy to fall into the trap!
It’s really important to just say stop and I’ve really enjoyed learning about self-compassion as it makes perfect sense. It’s not about over-inflating your ego, which would likely mean you’d crash harder when you make a mistake, but it’s about understanding and accepting and realising that you’re not the first one to mess up or struggle in whatever your circumstance is.

[Sallyann Keizer]

#2603

Self compassion is a biggy for me. Trying to stop being such a harsh critic of myself is a daily challenge! Even today I found myself advising a good friend to get an early night and ‘look after you’ as I stumbled home and worked til 2300. Mmm, I am revisiting self compassion right now. Expecting too much of oneself definitely limits happiness!

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